Childhood Trauma. The Sins of the Father & Trying to Find Your Way Back to Yourself…



This morning I did a very emotional reading that is sitting heavily on my heart.

Monica had been for a reading with me before but I hadn’t heard from her for a couple of years so I was happy that she was coming to see me again. I prefer to do face to face readings at my home, it’s nice to be able to be in the same space as the person you are reading for. As soon as she sat down I could feel she was not in a good place and I braced myself. We had a chat about what had been happening in her life since I had seen her last and she started to cry. She told me she felt like her life was out of control, she was having challenges in all her relationships, her emotions were heightened and that she was having bouts of depression and crippling anxiety. Straight away I knew what the reading was going to be about.

I put the cards away, put the tissues next to her and started to talk to her about childhood trauma, how it affects you and my experience with it. I asked her about her childhood and she proceeded to tell me there was violence and sexual abuse in her past, by this time she was sobbing and I was barely holding it together. I spoke to her softly and told her that I understood what she had been through then asked if she has been for counselling or to see a Psychologist and she said she hadn’t because she didn’t know what was causing her to feel the way she was feeling.  I then told her of my journey through starting to heal my own trauma over the past 12 months, what had and hadn’t helped me. I suggested to her that seeking professional help was essential as you cannot navigate the mine field that is childhood trauma on your own, you need someone to hold your hand through it. I got some of the books I have on the subject out and wrote them down for her so she can do some reading and told her how to get subsidised visits to different practitioners that can help her.

She calmed down and was taking in everything I was saying to her and told me that she would seek out people to help her with this great burden. I felt so much empathy for her and also gratitude that I could comfort and advise her during this really difficult period. We chatted a bit more, I made her a cup of tea and she calmed down and stopped sobbing. When you can’t understand why you feel so out of control it doesn’t occur to you that it’s your childhood come back to haunt you. It makes me so sad and angry that we are burdened with this unbearable pain in our middle years when we should be finding a space in ourselves that is peaceful. Childhood trauma is a life sentence, one we committed no crime to receive, one we didn’t ask for. It is extremely difficult to accept this is the way you are now, it’s so pervasive and always in the background and impossible to cure.

To all of you out there that were traumatised in your younger years I’m so sorry you had to go through those experiences, my heart breaks for you. Please seek help to aid in your recovery and most of all try to love the child inside, try to love the beautful person you have grown into. Surround yourself with people that respect and cherish you.





Exorcism and Mental illness

A fascinating post by The Contemporary Shaman!

Contemporary Shaman

1b90d0dc75515d9a4b1080eab11baffcExorcism (from Late Latin exorcism, from Greek exorkizein – to abjure) is the practice of evicting demons or other evil spiritual entities from a person or place, which they are believed to have possessed.

All those who were said to be the messengers or mediators of the gods practiced exorcism in many cultures throughout history.  The majority of religious pathways have exorcism practices and those who perform the exorcism are known as Priests, Rabbis, Shamans, Medicine men and Brahmans etc.

They would exorcise the demon or entity from the person who was thought to be possessed.  It was only practiced by those who were seen as having knowledge in this field. They needed a strong constitution and faith in order to rid the person of a powerful dark demonic force. (The origins of the word Demon originated from the Greek word ‘Daemon’ which is a word for spirit, which did…

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The Ace of Cups – The Essence of who you are. 

A timely reading about the Ace of Cups ❤️

Soul Searching - Finding the answers through the Cards

A couple of years ago I asked the tarot ‘who am I?’ and drew the Ace of Cups. At the time, I was at a stage in life where I had experienced major trauma and life issues that had shaken my world to the ground. I was only at the beginning of slowly piecing back together who I thought I was, without having any clue as to not only who, but how. I didn’t fully understand the significance of the answer the cards gave me, as is usually the way with these things. All I knew was that it was something precious, beautiful and needing to be nurtured and cultivated.

Fast forward to the present moment, and I can see that at the essence of every single one of us is the Ace of Cups. At least we start out that way, and the fact of the matter is that…

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October Tarotscopes 2017





Aries ♈️

October will be a brighter month for you Dear Aries. You have been able to let go of some worries and your path is now clear. There are new beginnings in store for you and these are around finances, foundation and matters of the heart. I hear the word ‘abundance’ as I am typing, this means abundance in all its forms, not just money. Relationships with those closest to you will be important this month and you will have much love in your heart to share with others. You will gain a new appreciation of what is important to you which will in turn cause you to see to see your place in this world and how you impact others lives in a new and positive way. Your colour this months is blue. This rules the Throat Chakra so speaking your truth is important.


Taurus ♉️

Stability is what you want in your life Taurus & it can be yours but I feel you are pushing up against a person or a situation in your life. We know you love to dig your heels in but this is a good time to choose your battles wisely. Though you may be right in some way it’s time for you to take a step back and lay down your arms. The overthinking and stress you have been going through is not worth it and you are being advised to surrender this situation at this point in time. Step back, rest, release the thoughts and worries. Bring something new into your life, a hobby or a small business idea that will get your creative juices flowing. I see other people around you that can help with this. Your colour this month is green. This rules the Heart Chakra so forgiveness and living from your heart is the lesson.


Gemini ♊️

Things are moving forward at last Gemini! After a period of heaviness and emotional turmoil the clouds have lifted and you can see your way forward again. You have much support around you, both in this world as well as within the angelic and spiritual realm. Be confident in yourself and don’t be afraid to step forward on your path, keep your eye on the prize. There are professional people that help you greatly at this time so don’t be afraid to seek them out. Sometimes we need an expert in the field to advise us and counsel us, this will help greatly to will ensure we make better decisions for ourselves. Ask for help and it will come to you in ways you never would expect. Your colour this month is red. This rules the Root Chakra so having a strong foundation within yourself will make you feel good.


Cancer ♋️

There may be some unexpected events in your life this October Cancer peeps. I feel there is need for change in your life & the universe is going to help to bring them about. It’s a restructuring of things that will bring about happier times and more ease in your life. If things are complicated right now they won’t be for long and by the end of the year ypu will understand why these changes needed to happen. Don’t try to work out what this will be, rather trust in the powers that be to do the work for you, resistance is futile! You will also be guided to help others in the final months of the year, indeed you’re will look back on your own experiences and this in turn will help them. Your colour this month is yellow. This rules the Solar Plexus Chakra, having a strong self and willpower will serve you well.


Leo ♌️

Hello Dear Leo! October is going to be an interesting month for you. I feel there will be changes in your work, business and creativity. This is a much needed change as you have recently lost your inspiration… and this isn’t good for the Lions of the zodiac. You have allowed your thoughts to cloud your judgment at times which has affected your self confidence somewhat. Well it’s time to claim that back & take steps to move forward. Make plans, back yourself and get people on side that can help you. There also may be some travel for you within the next few months, this will help to clear the cobwebs from your mind & allow you to think more clearly. Your colour this month is orange. This rules the Sacral Chakra so creativity and inspiration are what it’s all about.


Virgo ♍️

It’s time to give yourself a break Virgo, you can be so hard on yourselves sometimes! Let down those walls a little and allow yourself the freedom to just be. You don’t need all those rules & regulations to BEcome who you truly are. I can see two sides of you, the strict side and the fun loving side that just wants to throw caution to the wind. Well it’s throw caution to the wind time. What have you been dreaming of? Is it the overseas holiday? Wanting to find love? Breaking out of the job that restricts you? Whatever it is you are being encouraged to embrace change in your life. If there are negative people around you it’s time for you to consider their place in the big scheme of things. Your colour this month is white. This rules the Crown Chakra so clearing your thoughts and thinking more positively is the way to go.


Libra ♎️

Emotions are highlighted for you this months Libra. It’s more about expressing them than not, in fact there may be some strong emotions that you’ve been feeling that have not been shown to or spoken about with one particular person. Whatever you do don’t continue to hold them in as this will not serve you well. If you can say them perhaps you could write a letter? This will bring you back into balance which is vital for your sign, the scales must be balanced. The other thing that’s coming up for you is learning and study. There is something you have been thinking of doing and the universe is encouraging you to go ahead with your idea. Whether it’s being the student or the teacher things will work out very well for you. Your colour this months is orange. This rules the Sacral Chakra which indicate emotions and creativity are highlighted.


Scorpio ♏️

October will find you facing many decisions in your life Scorpio. There may be important decisions you’ll have to make for on behalf of others. When it comes down to it using & trusting your intuition is the best way to go and by taking quiet time out you will be able to access this easily. Tap into the deep wellspring within yourself, ask your Angels and guides to come close and they will guide you. There may be some difficult or painful moments but you have the strength to see this through. There will be news around a younger person, perhaps a son or daughter. Be sure to look after yourself and spend some time near water, the beach would be perfect, paddles in the salt water and wash you Crown Chakra with it. Your colour this month is pink. This is about the Heart Chakra so take good care of your heart.


Sagittarius ♐️

This month will bring you joy Sagi people. Relationships and love will take up a lot of your time and I feel there will be lots of love and support shared between you and those closest to you. Spending more time with your partner and family will bring you great joy. Organising a get together to celebrate an important event is sure to bring much happiness and laughter. Take time to look after yourself too, a pamper day or doing something nurturing for yourself will enable you to get through the month with ease. Love yourself & speak kindly to yourself if you are faced with challenges. I feel a sense of peace and calm around you as become more in tune with yourself. Your colour this month is purple. This rules the Third Eye Chakra and asks you to trust your inner knowing and your visions.


Capricorn ♑️

The time is right to work on the new skills you have learned and to take steps to implement these in your life Capricorn. Trust yourself to know what will work for you and what won’t. There is great energy around you that can be harnessed to help you so be sure to access this. Have more confidence in yourself and speak with conviction to those around you. You will have dealings with a strong male this month, he may bring wise advice to you so be sure to listen. Expexct changes in your work that you will have to adapt to, this won’t be a problem so feel confident as you move forward. All good things take time and you have the perseverance to be able to do this. Your co.our this month is yellow. This rules the Solar Plexus Chakra where you will find trust and inner worth.


Aquarius ♒️

The word for you this month Aquarius is Change. Much change will happen in all areas of your life and it’s time that this happened. You have been stagnant too long, afraid to make moves but that’s all about to change. It will be an emotional month & there is a karmic feel about the things that will occur. I feel things will be balanced after events earlier this year where things were not as they seemed and things were said and done that may have been regretted but cannot be changed now. This may have something to do with family members or a friend that is no longer in your life. Whatever remains unresolved will be sorted within the next 3 months. Take this in your stride and be honest with yourself and all concerned. Your co.our this month is blue. This rules the Throat Chakra be sure to speak your through but also be prepared to listen.


Pisces ♓️

There is great energy available to you this month Pisces so take advantage of this. You also have great support from the spiritual world which help you to access higher realms of consciousness. Your intuition will be heightened and you may find yourself helping or advising strangers that you meet. You are a beacon of light in this sometimes dark world so do not be afraid to shine. Be sure to take some time for yourself and treat yourself to something nice, something that holds meaning for you.  Get together with some friends and celebrate each other, the feminine is highlighted here so catch up with your female family members or friends to enjoy a nice meal or coffee. Give of yours.ef and this month will bring you much joy. I see two colours for you, pink and white. This indicates the Heart & Crown Chakra so Love & intuition are what you will embrace this month.

“12 Life Impacting Symptoms Complex PTSD Survivors Endure”

A Broken Blue Sky

It's Not That Simple

Complex Trauma and Complex PTSD are fairly new terms and not well understood by many professionals or by many who suffer with it. I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD, but didn’t fully understand all the ways in which it has impacted my life.

I have lived my life with the effects of severe depression and Complex PTSD without a name for my suffering, until just recently. So I locked it all up inside. I didn’t understand or know what I was experiencing or why. So I hid it. I was afraid and I didn’t want anyone to think I was crazy. It has been a very frightening experience in so many ways.

I felt shame for my internal struggle. I thought it was me! I knew there was something wrong with me, but I didn’t know why I struggled with all the internal turmoil. I often had those close to…

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Only when you have walked….

A brilliant post from the Contemporary Shaman.

Contemporary Shaman

60548788_081f8bc711f68dfa779584c3bd5b93d4Knowledge is power, however knowledge without experience it is just information. Growth comes from experience and the most challenging experiences can offer us the biggest soul stretch if we see it as an opportunity rather than a setback.

Its not the circumstances we get thrown that define us, its our belief about them.

Depth of character comes from diving deeper and you will not be able to really understand the depths without the experience or at least a taste of actually being there. You can read many books and hear others personal stories but until you are there, in the experience…its just a story, someone else’s story.

It is often thought via the clients themselves that the better therapists are those that have walked in the shoes similar to what their clients have. That’s not to say someone who has good skills but no experience can’t be of quality guidance…

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Messages from the Other Side. Tears of Joy & Love Never Dies…


Today I did a very emotional reading for a lovely lady, let’s call her Trish. It was a phone reading as Trish lives on the other side of the world so it’s a little different than doing a face to face reading. I started out talking about her numerology and how that was working in her life. Trish started to to cry and told me she was hoping a loved one would come through, I asked her the name of that person and as soon as I wrote it down I felt a young man step forward. Whenever I write people’s names down I instantly connect with them &/or receive information about them.

Trish’s son, Dan had passed away suddenly 18 months ago at just 25 years of age and she was still going through the difficult process of deep grief. I could feel her pain and was close to tears. Dan told me his soul knew he would not have a long life so he crammed as much as he could into the time that he had. He was part of a beautiful, loving family. He was successful at everything he did and was about to step into his dream job around the time that he passed away.

I passed on the messages to Trish and they were beautiful. I told her the roses in front of her were from Dan and that he would be letting her know he was around more and more. Dan had a lovely girlfriend when he passed away and asked me to tell Trish that he is working on finding another guy for her and will also be bringing some babies through for her. His girlfriend will be a part of Trish’s life as they have a special bond & she will play a part in the children’s lives. Trish became extremely emotional & so did I, not very professional I know but sometimes the readings I do are so powerful I can’t not cry.

To lighten the mood Dan told me to ask his Mum what was so funny about his pants. She started laughing and told me he was at a wedding not long before he passed away and was shaking his booty on the dance floor when he tore a big hole in the backside of his pants, not a small tear, a big split! He said he was having such a good time that he didn’t care about his pants & just kept on dancing!

Trish and I chatted about a few more things and all the while I was receiving such a beautiful feeling of love from Dan. Our time was up so we said our goodbyes. Trish was of grateful for the information I could pass on to her and told me that she felt so much better. I was so pleased that I could help to lighten her heart ❤️

After the reading I took the dogs for a walk down the beach and as I was walking I kept hearing ‘love, love, love’ and knew Dan was walking with me. I’m so blessed to be able to ease people’s pain and connect them with their loved ones that have passed over. It amazes me every time that even on the other side love never dies…