Personal Growth – is it optional?

A great write up by Tess from Wild EnchanTress ❤️

Soul Searching - Finding the answers through the Cards

Personal growth is not a tree that is evident in everyone’s backyard. Why do some people grow, change, thrive, and others do not? This question was put to me for discussion by an intelligent, growing and ever changing person. I realised that this question needed much understanding and thought which could only be sourced through deep meditation and external searching.

The first idea that came to me was courage, that is courage to face our life, our ego and our authenticity level head on.

It doesn’t matter who you are, how good or bad your experience in this life has been. The hardships and pain each and every one on earth experiences is no more or less for each of us from a relative perspective. It comes down to the meter or measuring stick that we use to compare our struggles with our overall individual experience.

My tool for understanding…

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Message from the Arcturians 

A great blog post from awakening5dhealing 💙


‘This is a message for channelers, mediums, psychics, QHHT practitioners and all those who communicate across dimensions.

We the Arcturian Council of Twelve are here to remind you to practise daily protection. To remember mantras of peace, love and compassion. A fierce war is raging all around Gaia. There is turmoil in the skies and on the land. The secrets that lie in the seas will be revealed, the skies will no longer be cloaked and when the war has come to pass there will be a new, cleaner space. Gaia will have vanquished low frequencies, and those who have transcended light with her will see a new earth. A new plane of existence. For some this has already occurred. We see lights switching on every day spreading and illuminating the darkness that shrouds the old earth. The Shift is happening. We see fear rolling back and love flooding your…

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December Tarotscopes 2017.

IMG_9664Aries ♈️

Decemeber looks to be an interesting month for you Rams. You may be faced with many choices,  it’s important that you don’t allow confusion to reign and affect your decision making. Trust yourself and your inner compass, look for the markers on your path, they will show you the way to go. You may have to slow down a little bit to be sure you see what is before you, avoid rushing around and doing too many things at once.  If something feels right, do it, if it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. Be courageous and show people your strength. Someone may try to deceive you or present something to you that is not true, again trust yourself to work out what is right and wrong. As the end of the month draws near be sure to maintain balance and don’t get flustered. Enjoy the festive season and share the love with those you care about. Merry Christmas 🎄


Taurus ♉️

As 2017 draws to a close you can be proud of yourself and how far you have come this year Taurus. You are also coming to the end of a cycle in your life that required introspection and growth, you have done very well and can give yourself a high five!  December sees you feeling energised and wanting to tie up any loose ends before we begin the number 2 year in 2018. I feel there is something that needs your focus and it’s an inner feeling or knowing that you have. Look into this and determine how it fits into the person you have become. What is outdated, is it your beliefs or perhaps they way you look at something important in your life. Only you can know what that is. Remember to be kind to you yourself and be sure to buy yourself a nice gift, something meaningful that will remind you of how fabulous you are and how far you have come. Merry Christmas 🎄


Gemini ♊️

Congratulations Gemini, you have made it! 2017 has tested you and you have come through with flying colours. Your courage is being acknowledged and that is what got you through, that and your strong and pure heart. A situation that was causing you grief has changed so dramatically it makes you wonder if what you went through really happened. Yes it was painful but it was a deep soul lesson that has put you on to another path, the next stage of your life. It’s ok to feel confident and step forward knowing that things have changed for the better and you will be rewarded for you bravery.  One of your biggest tests was to surrender and to place your trust in the power of the universe to be able to work out the best outcome for all. At the end of the month make a sacred space for yourself and do a releasing ritual to let go of the last of this year. Merry Christmas 🎄


Cancer ♋️

Relationships and love have been important for you this year and there has been a deepening of the relationships closest to you. This is beautiful and has made you feel more secure in your life knowing you are very loved. You have worked hard to secure your place in the world and next year will see your work life blossom with perhaps a new position or pay rise or promotion. If there is one thing new you have been thinking about doing, go for it, you will be surprised how good it makes you feel. Prosperity is coming so be patient and allow it to come to you rather than chasing it. Balance is coming up so be sure to keep a balance in everything that you do, especially emotionally. Allow yourself some time off to enjoy the festive season with those you love. Merry Christmas 🎄


Leo ♌️

This month is looking good for you Leo, lots of positive energy and good feelings are around you. You have made great progress on plans you had and should be proud of yourself. Don’t allow others thoughts or opinions to bring you down, you are majestic and courageous, let those words slide right off you, hold your head high. Spend time with people that honour you and your truth, if you feel someone is not doing that consider their place in your life, there is only roomfor people from your tribe in your life now. There is a well earned rest coming up for you, you have been hard at it this year and you deserve some time out. Focus on what’s important to you and steer yourself in that direction. You know what’s right for you and trust that inner knowing that sparks loudly to you. Stand in your power and step forward with courage. Merry Christmas 🎄


Virgo ♍️

December brings change for you Virgo and it’s not before time. I feel you have been holding on to a way of doing or seeing things that is outdated and not in your best interests. You can be stubborn sometimes and refuse to see things in a different way than how you think they should be. This is going to be shaken up this month and you will be forced to change your ways whether you like it or not. Once the dust settles you will see why things had to change and you will understand things on a deeper level. Don’t look at it as losing something, rather look at it as gaining a new viewpoint. Your intuition will be heightened at the end of the month so be sure to trust your feelings and hunches particularly where men are concerned, look at people actions rather than listening t9 her words. Words are cheap. Have fun in the festive season. Merry Christmas 🎄


Libra ♎️

Decemeber will be interesting Librans as you evaluate what has happened this year. There will be things that have worked well and other not so much so. There is a situation that did not go quite as planned and you may be feeling disappointed but try to look at how you could change things around to make it work better. Don’t lose heart, pick it up again next year and have another go. Clear your head over the Xmas break and see what fresh ideas come up that you can put into practice next year. Trust yourself and look inside for the answers you seek, don’t allow the harsh inner critic to have too much of a voice as he so doesn’t know the right thing to do! Think positive thoughts and make your intention clear, the universe is always listening. Spend time with family and those that cherish you at the end of the month. Laugh and smile, you’re beautiful when you do that. Merry Christmas 🎄


Scorpio ♏️

Change has been a constant for you this year and December will bring about more of it. You have been on a deep inner journey, discovering parts of you that were hidden until a couple of years ago. The spiritual practice you now have serves you very well and you should be trusting yourself more and more, the feelings and hunches you have are spot on so be sure to continue to trust them. I feel you have learned many new things and you will soon put some of them into practice to help others. As you move towards the end of the year try to release the inner conflict you have and know that things are exactly as they are meant to be. Put your losses behind you and look toward the future. If you feel you need to bring in changes into your life now is the time to do it, don’t be afraid to let go of what no longer serves you and those closest to you. Merry Christmas 🎄


Sagittarius ♐️

You may have found this year disruptive Sagi but the changes we’re nexessaty. You had got into a comfortable rut and there is no way the universe is going to let us stay in that for too long. Try to be more flexible and trusting that a higher power knows what is right for us. I can see your thoughts have been a bit of a problem and encourage you to not go too far down the road of negative thinking as this can really throw you off, you being such a fun loving person! Remember they are only thoughts and have no power over you. Whatever has upset you just let it go, you can’t change things to release it and move forward. As the end of the year draws near be sure to nurture yourself and take capgood care of you. Buy your,self something special and know that you deserve it. You are well loved by many. Merry Christmas 🎄


Capricorn ♑️

Balance seems to be the key right now Capricorn so be sure to put yourself into consideration when dealing with others. Do you give more that you receive? It’s all very well to put others first but in the long run it won’t make you feel good, if anything you may find yourself feeling resentful. You have experienced great change this year and this will continue through 2018 as you move forward. Be strong and speak your truth, this will serve you well. There may be a male in your life that you will need to have some words with soon, be diplomatic and stand in your power. You have worked hard to get where you are right now and good on you for doing that. Use the energy of this month to release past hurts and feelings of sadness from the past, you have carried them for too long now. Merry Christmas 🎄


Aquarius ♒️

I feel it’s time for a purge Aquarius, a time to do a big release as you have been holding on to old hurts for far too long now. Doing a clearing and cleanse of your space is a good place to start, the do it for yourself and your family. I am hearing ‘cut people and situations form your life for good’. You give a lot of yourself away and it is not always appreciated so be aware of where your energy goes. Some time out would serve you well, a time to look within work out wher you are in your life. You may hear from or about people from your past, this will happen as it’s time for a clean out of what no longer fits with the person that you are now. Clean out your closet so you can step into 2018 with room to make new things happen in your life. Purify your environment and your inner world as well. It’s time. Merry Christmas 🎄


Pisces ♓️


Emotions and family are highlighted this month Pisces. Be sure to keep a balance and protect yourself by cleansing yourself with white sage or Palo Santo and wearing crystals. You are very sensitive and need to take extra good care of yourselves, particularly when you are around negative or harsh people. Don’t allow people to talk down to you or listen to their gossip, that doesn’t serve anyone well. Ask for support this month and it will be forthcoming, you don’t need to do absolutely everything on your own. Take help when it is offered. If you have been experiencing some darkness know that that time is almost over and you can step back into the light again. Having some energy healing will help to lift your vibration and re-energise you, look into this 💗 Merry Christmas 🎄


Soul Mates… The Dream State and Letting Go…



From 23 to 33 years of age I had my soulmate relationship and though it is more than 20 years since we separated I have dreamt of him often during that time. The dreams are always heart wrenchingly sad and confusing and I find myself feeling very emotional in my waking state after dreaming of him. I have written a few posts about him and our travels and experiences together. Leaving him broke me and changed life as I knew it. The break up put me on my spiritual path, so I will be eternally grateful to him for helping me to do that this lifetime. During the first Shamanic healing session I had in 2012 we didn’t some work on releasing him but I knew that I hadn’t though I told the practitioner I had. I really wanted to release it from my soul but I was unable to to do it. I cried for 5 days after that session but it really did put me on my healing path as it made me realise how deep my sadness and despair was.

Last night I dreamt of him again but this dream was different. It was still sad and I was despairing in the dream as I felt he had lied to me and betrayed me, which he did early in our relationship but I forgave him and we stayed together for another 6 years after that. I could see him as if he was right there with me and he looked as he did when we were together. I loved him so much and felt strongly connected to him and I knew in the dream I had to sort something out. He kept coming to me which caused more and more sadness every time he did it. I’m not sure what that meant? Was my soul yearning to be with him again? Have I not let go as much as I think I have? I know we have done what we came here to do this lifetime and that I will see him again as we signed a soul agreement stating ‘I will never leave you’. That really tugs at my heart strings.

So in the dream last night I shouted at him to turn around, walk away and to not bother me again. I was very angry and I really meant the words that I said, I had never said that to him before. I screamed at him ‘Don’t come back’! When I woke up I felt different and it has popped into my thoughts numerous times during the day, now I’ll wait and see if anymore dreams come and if so will he return?

Love, Loss, Prayer and Despair…

One year, 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days. To some these numbers are a great passage of time, to me they are hours, minutes and seconds. Some days that was all I could focus on, getting through the next few minutes. Here is what I learned in those minutes…

– The hardest, most painful lessons bring the greatest rewards.

– Going through the cycle of death and rebirth smooths you and softens your heart.

– Surrender is essential.

– We all have an untapped source of strength that we never knew was there until we have to use it.

– The pain of loss and being alone is excruciating.

– Asking for help is the greatest self care you can give yourself.

– Some people really do love you and it’s ok to trust them.

– Always move toward the light even through the pitch darkness that pervades your very being.

– Everything changes, nothing stays the same.

– You can make it through.

– Friends are the best family.

– Though you may feel it, you are never alone.

– A phone call can save a life.

– The dark voices don’t tell you the truth.

– What happened isn’t your fault.

– There are so many good people in the world.

– There will be times that you may not be able to see your light but others will see it shining brightly.

– You can cry until your heart aches and you fall down in a state of complete and utter exhaustion.

– Every day you must love yourself, even just a tiny bit, this can be what gets you over the line.

– Dogs are the best therapists and because of 8 little legs I am here today ❤️

– Your inner child can always do with some love and attention.

– Your story shaped you but does not define you.

– Angels walk the earth and help us in our time of need.

– Gratitude and prayer enrich your life.

– Love conquers all ❤️

Out of the Dark Night… K9 Healing and Soul Chasing…


This is Mr Bingo 🐾

He is the K9 healing assistant at the place I go to do my deep healing work. Bingo was very excited to see me today as he knows I’m the chick the brings yummy dog choccies over for him when I go to have a session with Lisa. I also tell him he’s my third favourite doggy in the whole world and give him lots of pats. He was barking at the door when I rocked up lol and when we sat down in the treatment room he did his beautiful begging pose for a tasty morsel. He also does circles around you after your session is complete to make sure you’re good to go. He usually does 3 circles around me but today for the first time he only did one, alright.

Today was interesting and my feeling was right this morning, I had something that needed to be gone. I had a dark attachment that had hooked into my abdomen. It was very old and had been on the earth for some time, it was abandoned here. It liked me because of the work that I do, it called me a Soul Chaser. It knew that I bring souls that have passed over into contact with souls that are still here on the physical earth plane. It had been around me for a while but due to the deep soul work I have done recently it came into my awareness as I had cleared a lot of old karma. Lisa got rid of the attachment then gave me a clearing to rid me of the residue from the dark night of the soul, it feels good. At the end of the session she told me The Hermit from the Tarot Card was standing next to me and asked me what he was about, I love The Hermit. We had a bit more of a chat & I headed home. The last 3 sessions have really helped me to move forward and it’s so good to talk to someone that understands your weirdness coz they’re just as weird as you. Lisa and I have a very comfortable relationship and I’m so blessed to have her helping me on my journey.

The Dark Night of the Soul… My Guardian Angel… Ancestral Ties and the Luck of the Irish…


I certainly chose an interesting life path this time round and my 53 years on this planet have been amazing! I am only now really coming to understand the how’s and why’s as to how I got to where I am today. My childhood was rough and still affects me but I know I would not be who I am without having experienced overwhelming fear along with neglect as well as mental, physical and emotional abuse. I have worked long and hard to get to this place. At times it has been unbearable and I have considered taking my own life more than once. I have had three exit points in my life where I could have chosen to end this life but a tiny spark of light always kept me going, thankfully. I have overcome the self destructiveness that took me down a long and painful road of drug and alcohol addiction, I almost lost myself there and it frightens me today when I look back at the time I was in the depths of addiction, living a dangerous and out of control life. I have done years of therapy with different therapists, done many types of healing just to keep myself going and to stop me from losing my shit again.

This year has been extremely challenging as I journeyed to the depths of despair during a Dark Night of the Soul. I now know along with Complex Trauma I also have PTSD, MDD – Major Depressive Disorder and BPD – Borderline Personalty Disoredr. I have suffered through bouts of depression since I was a child but nothing like I experienced this year. I was in the darkness for 6 months. I could barely function, I couldn’t work enough to support myself and I could feel myself losing the tenuous grip I had on life. Every morning when I woke up I was so disappointed as I knew I had to face another day of despair and not wanting to be here. I didn’t want to go anywhere or talk to anyone. If I didn’t have my beautiful boys, Fergus and Fernando things would have been very grim. I had to get up and look after them. Those eight little legs gave me a reason. Most days I would get up and let them out, give them their breakfast and go back to bed. Fergus would then come in and sleep on the bed next to me until I finally got up. He knew I wasn’t ok. I always took them for a walk, hoping I wouldn’t see anyone so I didn’t have to talk to them as I knew they would see in my eyes that I wasn’t well. Some days I cried the whole time I was walking them, I cried for hours and I couldn’t stop. I was in so much pain that it invaded my whole being. Every part of me hurt, all the time.


During those 6 months I had a guardian angel that called me almost every day, she checked on me, she brought me food, she brought me flowers, she put money on the kitchen counter so I could survive, she held me while I went through an excruciating dark night of the soul. I was so scared I was not going to come out of it. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t think straight. I had never told anyone the truth of my past as it comes with much shame, embarrassment and unspeakable pain but I knew it was time to tell someone my story… so that’s what I did. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, I had to open my heart up to someone and during that process I realised I had never done that before, it was scary! She listened to me and validated my experience. She loved me and I could feel that love even though my heart was breaking. She helped me to understand how to nurture my wounded inner child, to understand what I missed out on but also how I could make it up to that sweet little girl. My guardian angel will never know what she did for me, thanks will never be enough to express the gratitude I have for what she did for me, the love and care she showed me.

I started working with my therapist on inner child work as well and I now see the benefit of doing that. I also had to tell my story to others so I could get the help that I needed. I went to my GP and told her my story, again it was really hard to do and I kind of scared her a bit, I could see it in her eyes. She knew I was in trouble so she referred me to the mental health unit where I live. I am now under their care and on a new medication that has made a massive difference. Over the past month I have come back into the light, I can breathe again, my heart is lighter and I want to be a part of life. It’s such a relief to be alive again! I am back in touch my my higher self, my guides and my psychic abilities are heightened like never before, go figure. I am back in contact with my beautiful Grandma that passed away when I was 3 years old and she is leading me through the next stage of my life. And this guidance from the other side leads me to the next part of my long story.

Last week I went I went to an Expo with a friend that was right up my alley, psychic business, healthy lifestyle, music and all things conscious. I was really keen to have an aura photo taken so I could see where I was at compared to this time last year. When I sat down on the chair to have the photo taken I could literally feel my soul jumping around and I knew the photo was going to show something special. The man taking the photo took a while and I knew why. When it was done I got up and my friend had her photo taken for the first time. I could feel the excitement rising from my root chakra upwards. I looked over to the table wher the photos were drying and when I seen mine it gave me the lift I needed, it was amazing. After you have the photo taken there are psychics at the Booth that read the photos for you. The first thing the lady said to me was ‘aren’t you the beautiful one?’ and I started to cry. She hugged me and told me that I was ok now, I was out of the darkness and I will never go back there again. She also told me how strong my connection is to spirit and that I not only have the white light around me but that I also have it in my heart chakra and I will be able to help many people in the future due to my experiences and the light that is shining from my heart. It gave me back my confidence and that’s exactly what I needed. The last thing she told me is that Grandma is in the light by my right ear.

So… since the weekend I have been feeling on top of the world and yesterday from the time I got up I could not only feel but I could see spirits walking around the house, I knew it was Grandma and some of my ancestors, this is not unusual so I just got on with my day as usual. I felt a man up the back of this house the day I moved in here. Last night I was lying in bed and was scratching around in my bedside table looking for some hand cream, I found it and put some on my hands while I lay there thinking about my day. When I put the hand cream back in the drawer I felt I should look at what was at the back of my tin of creams (I like hand creams lol).  When I reached back I pulled out a book and thought to myself ‘what’s this’? I’d forgotten that I had an old family bible and had no recollection how it had come into my possession. I’m not a bible fan but as soon as I looked at it I knew it was significant. The first page I opened it up to is the picture at the top of this post. The bible was given to my maternal grandfather, John Smith, also known as Jack. His mother Margaret gave it to him when he was 10 years old in 1913. I have a bible that is over 100 years old! Margaret was born in County Meath, my Irish great grandma. My heart skipped a beat as I looked through the pages and I was careful as the bible is so fragile. As I turned to the front of the bible there was writing on the front page. Grandfather John had written something to my mother just weeks before he passed away in 1948, I was overwhelmed as he was the man in the back of my house! As I read his beautful written words I noticed there was a verse written under them. I could not believe it, my heart started racing and I started crying. There were words that my beloved Martha had written in her own hand just before her life took a drastic turn and her beloved husband passed away at the age of 45. I put my hand on that page and cried tears of joy, I finally have something of the grandparents that I was lied to about. I could hold something that both of them held, to touch the words they had written from their hearts almost 60 years ago.

I don’t have any photos or memories of them and only sketchy details that I have managed to find out through different ancestry sites. As I lay there I could feel them with me and Grandma was loving me, I lay there with my hand on their words for a while and I knew they were with me, I could feel them. I can now pick up that bible any time and feel them and their beautiful words. That experience has gladdened my heart so much and today I feel lifted up even more. I am so happy to be back in the world and I have a new found confidence to be able to tread the path I am destined to tread. Lookout out world, the newer version of me is here and she’s rearing to go. I’m back ❤️