I came across this picture this morning and it stopped me in my tracks. I had to pause to look at it and listen the words that popped into my head spoke of my journey thus far. The many deaths I have been through, the decay of who I thought I was. The dried bones scattered in my past, left to turn to nothing but dust, to be taken by the wind.
Though I have stumbled and fallen I have still been able to grow, to sprout new shoots and reach for the warmth of the sun. I have been able to grow thanks to the rich soil of my decay. Many times I have started from scratch and had to learn about the new me, the more compassionate me. The challenge of death, rebirth and the pain of the growth that comes from that cycle doesn’t have a time limit or an instruction manual. You’re on your own and you just have to trust.
This year I struggled with a very difficult karmic experience that took everything I had to get through. It was brought into my home so I had no choice but to go through the extremely difficult lessons I nedded to complete. My security and my very foundation were made unsafe and there was nowhere to go to escape the fear and overwhelming emotions I was experiencing. So I worked through it with the help of spirit and a couple of good friends. I was told that I needed to ride this out, for things to come to come to their conclusion the way that they were meant to. This would ensure I didn’t have to learn this lesson again.
It took me back to my childhood which was a very painful place and one I did not want to visit… but I was taken there anyway. Memories and experiences I thought I had dealt with came back to haunt me and I had no choice but to remember and process them. I had to seek help to do this and am still going through therapy. I learned a new way of dealing with the pain of the past and the events that left scars on my heart. Looking back as an adult, putting into practice many things I have learned on my spiritual path have helped me to navigate the past 6 months and come to a place of acceptance, compassion and most importantly forgiveness.
As this universal number 9 year draws to a close I have some more releasing and cleansing to do & this will happen in the next 2 weeks. Like the tree I will reach toward the sky again and take the wisdom of experience with me as I continue my soul journey….