Pain of the Past. Generations & Healing our Ancestral Mothers…


Recently I did a very deep and emotional reading for a lovely lady… lets call her Jane.

As soon as I opened the door and said hello to Jane I knew she was in pain, not just emotionally but also physically. We had barely started talking and she started to cry so I knew there was a lot of unresolved emotion and I also felt anger within her. She began by talking about her mother (see a previous post about the mother wound that I wrote). Jane was very resentful and blamed her mother for everything that had gone wrong in her life, everything.

As she was talking to me I felt her mother step in. Spirits always stand around the bookcase where I keep my cards and books in the corner of my sitting room, always the same place. I felt a deep sadness in her mums soul and she began telling me about her life as Jane’s mum. Her childhood was horrible and she never felt loved by either of her parents, particularly her mum (Janes Grandma) so there was a pattern here, a history of mother wounding. She gestured behind her and showed me the women going back through the years, I could see how differently they were dressed, it went back to early 19th century Europe. She told me this had been happening for many, many generations.

I understood this very well as I have been healing the mother wound for years. I began to explain to Jane the dynamics of what had been happening in her family for so long and she seemed to relax a little (and stop crying). When we are not mothered well how can we be expected to be a good mother ourselves? We may be the good enough mother who was there or an emotionally absent mother but still there physically but that still leaves a void, a mother wound.

When this goes so far back it can often come down to us to be the woman that has the rather challenging choice as to whether we step up and heal that generational mother wound or not. Jane is one of these women. It’s a weight to carry, make no mistake. I have done a lot of work on this wound and it is exhausting, at times emotionally crippling. I understand why some women never heal this wound, I really do but to do it is a blessing to all when you can heal your mothers. Rather than wading through the mud of the pasts of many women for most of your life.

My own mother was adopted and on a soul level faced darkness before she was born into this current life time. Her mother also faced judgement & ridicule due to the circumstances she found herself in when she was pregnant with my mother in the early 1940’s, it then goes back further to Ireland. That wasn’t pleasant.

I explained much of this to Jane and I could see she understood what I was saying. Her mum spoke up and told Jane she was so sorry for the way she had behaved and the way she had treated Jane when she was a child. She was almost begging for forgiveness and I could feel how painful it was for her. Forgiveness is a big deal and some people are unable to forgive people from their past. That’s really ok. I was sure I would never forgive my mother but I did just that 5 years ago after working on it for many years. I completely let it go. I let her go. I was completely surprised at the sense of freedom I felt and am so glad I achieved it.

Jane now had a deeper understanding about the complexity of her situation. It wasn’t as cut and dried as she had thought. We were both exhausted so I started to wrap things up and I can honestly say Jane looked 10 years younger. I gave her a big hug and suggested she work through her emotions to try to find some forgiveness and understanding in her heart, both for herself and her mother. I had a lie down and fell asleep for a while as I was worn out. When I woke I started writing this down while it’s still fresh in my mind.

When we look at our mothers and our past with her remember there are generations behind her that we may not know anything about. Perhaps it would help to talk to her and ask her about her history, if she knows much about the women that came before her. We all carry parts of those women within us today and we owe it not only to ourselves but to those that came before us to try to forgive and heal ❤️❤️❤️


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