The way to Acceptance, Surrender and Change in your life…

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Acknowledging what needs to change in your life is the first step to freedom, until then you have next to no chance of moving forward as you will constantly get in your own way, if your ego doesn’t step up first! We cannot change what we don’t acknowledge and looking into the truth of ourselves or a situation can be confronting, make no mistake.

The path to emotional and psychological freedom is a process, not an event. It takes time to navigate the complexities of human emotion, old patterns of behaviour and outdated beliefs. Time to stop pointing the finger and blaming others. Time to take responsibility for our own actions. Once you have acknowledged something you can move onto the next stage, acceptance. Now things get tricky!

Acceptance doesn’t mean what happened was ok, acceptance comes when you stop pushing up against whatever it is that is bothering you, what keeps coming into your conscious awareness, what’s pissing you off! Acceptance lightens your load and allows a clearer vision, this is good, stick with it.

The next stage is my favourite, surrender.
Surrender takes the burden away, giving up the need to control, the need to get the outcome you want, now there’s the freedom I’m talking about. For me it’s giving it up to the universe though it will be different for everyone. Giving it up takes away the stress of it all and the powers that be will ensure a good outcome for all concerned.

After surrender comes the welcome change. This is a deep inner change, sometimes we are not aware of this until we have walked further down the path of growth and we realise that we are feeling different, lighter, more positive about ourselves and our life. People may comment that we seem different but they can’t put their finger on the reason why.

The beautiful thing about the change is that it brings healing and forgiveness, not just to you but to the people and situations involved in that process. Forgiveness is wonderful and the healing that comes from it is worthy of the whole process.

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Soul Merge. The Dark Night of the Soul and Holding onto the Light…

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Today I was reminded about where I was on this night just 6 short months ago. I was going through the process of my soul merge and the dark night of the soul. As if that wasn’t enough I was also in the grips of an undiagnosed mental illness.

I was lying on the floor of my shower, water running and I’d been there for I don’t know how long. I had been crying uncontrollably for hours and was working out how I was going to word my suicide note. I was going to write it to my dear friend, who a week earlier I had promised that I would not do anything silly.

I was beside myself and could see no other way. I had a voice in my head telling me to kill myself coz I was a worthless piece of shit and nobody loved me, I was alone in the world. I had no family, just a few friends. This voice had been at me for months on end. I have never felt such utter despair and the pain I was in was excruciating. I had another voice telling me to find the light, even the smallest pin prick of light and to keep my eye on that light.

I dragged myself out of the shower, still sobbing uncontrollably, wrapped myself in a towel and lay down on my bed. I was exhausted emotionally, physically and psychologically. I could feel pain in my chest, my heart hurt.

As I lay there looking at the ceiling I felt a red hot anger rise up within me, I was furious. I told spirit I was done, that I couldn’t continue this struggle anymore. I couldn’t face one more day feeling this way, that I had nothing to offer anyone, especially myself. I flipped the bird to the sky and told them ‘fuck you and the work you want me to do. I’ve tried so hard and this is what I get. Where are you when I need you? I’m done!’

Then the phone rang…

It was my friend, the one I was going to write the suicide note to. She asked me if I was ok and I completely lost my shit. I blurted our where I was at within myself and sobbed uncontrollably whilst telling her how scared I was. I knew I had frightened her but for the first time in my life I had told one person exactly what I’d been through. I lost the worry of the shame and embarrassment I had held onto for over 50 years.

She talked me down from the ledge I was on and stepped up for me. Stepped up and guided me through the next couple of days, weeks and months until I was stable again. She loved me, brought me groceries and flowers, brought treats for the boys, helped me pay the bills and she loved me. She loved me back into being, calling me every day to make sure I was ok. Nothing I can say or do will ever express my deep gratitude for what she did for me. Thank you so much, thank you 🙏

Since that time I have gone from strength to strength and am now the happiest I have ever been. What happened in my past doesn’t matter anymore. I am secure, full of creative energy and I have happiness in my heart. I am joyful and free and I have a new friendship with a soul Sista that is wonderful.

I’m alive ❤️

The Long Way Home… Soul Contracts and Losing Yourself…

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Every reading I do amazes me, the resilience of people and the lengths they will go to, to protect the ones they love. Today I did a reading for a lovely couple that touched my heart and really gave me food for thought. I would like to share it with you.

Josie and Frank have been together for 15 years and Frank is currently going through the end stages of Dementia. I have previously done a couple of phone sessions with Josie, we always chat for a while and todays call was long, we had lots to talk about, some of it was about the practicalities of how Josie is coping on her own taking care of her husband, the rest about soul contracts. They have no family support at all and live in cramped quarters whilst trying to navigate the confusing and frightening place they find themselves in.

This time round I could feel that Frank was moving further away from who he used to be, his moments of lucidity are few and far between. He has been journeying over to the spirit world, he calls it home and he has been checking it out. He told Josie he is building a house over there and is preparing for his journey. He understands that she cannot go with him and needs to be sure that she will be ok. He has told her numerous times that he has to go and is sorry she can’t come with him. The more he becomes trapped in his own mind,  the more he goes over to the other side where he feels well and there is no confusion.

As we were speaking I kept hearing random womens names, then I felt a mother figure step in, she loved Frank so much and gave me that feeling of motherly love. I asked Josie about Frank’s mother and she told me he was adopted at 2 years of age after being abandoned by his birth mother. The woman that adopted him all those years ago assured me that she would come and take Frank back home to the spirit world. She had such a gentle nature and a heart full of love.

Josie asked me about the progression of Franks disease and we discussed it quite openly. She needs to be able to make arrangements and to do what needs to be done at this point in time. As we chatted I began getting strong feelings and asked her how she felt. Josie is quite in tune but due to a very difficult childhood she has difficulty trusting her intuition sometimes. I told her that she had made a soul contract with Frank to look after him at the end of his life, it was a big contract and as a soul she had agreed to do it on her own so she could grow on a soul level. She told me that she understood and she can see that now. Recently she had gone through a process of acceptance and surrender that helped her immensely. She has gained great insight into herself and indeed, her past which has eased the burdens from her childhood.

Josie doesn’t know what will happen over the next few months so I reassured her and suggested taking it day by day and dealing with things as they come up. This would give her some headspace to continue with and understand her part in Frank’s journey. I was also told she would earn a lot of brownie points and balance her karma up nicely, that made her laugh. I wished Josie well and told her I loved her. I will pray for them tonight.

Becoming me… Connection to Spirit and The Way of the Goddess…

21 years ago today my life changed… forever. I was thrust on to my spiritual path, my heart torn into a million pieces, blinded by tears with no direction. I’d never heard about this path, let alone known how or where to find it. What was it all about? How could I possibly find the answers I needed, surely someone else could point me in the right direction.

As I moved cautiously forward I would catch glimpses from the corner of my eyes, glimpses of markers on the road, they had cryptic information scratched into them and I knew I must look inside myself to decipher those strange markings. How could someone like me possibly understand such ancient knowledge? What was I supposed to do with the feelings and insights that came upon me like gentle thoughts upon a warm summer breeze, whispering the truth I had waited to hear for the longest time. It was my own truth, truth from my soul, beckoning me to immerse myself in the waters of love. Love of the Goddess, love from women who were guides on my path, these women came into my life for just a short time but long enough to shine their light so I may see the next step, only the next step, never more than that.

When I began to see my way forward I understood the role of the Goddess in my life. She was prodding me gently, telling me that I must trust myself and my feelings. Helping me to remember who I really am, who I have always been. She told me ‘ The way forward will not be easy. The way of the Goddess is beautiful and terrifying in its beauty. You can lose your way, sometimes so much that you fear you will never find a way back to yourself’. She told me to keep my eye on the light. ‘Always follow the light my child, when you are in the depths of despair you will need to know where the light is as it will lead you to the next stage of your growth. And remember to take your pack of seeds with you everywhere you go, check your pockets now and then to be sure you have them. You will need them in the darkness, when you have hit rock bottom. For when you are in the pit of despair with no way out, they will save you. By planting the seeds of your soul in the rich dark earth, in that place you will grow the most wondrous things. You will grow your soul and it will shine brighter than the sun, it’s warmth will grow those seeds into beautiful blooms that will propel you from the darkness into the light, you know the light, it was the tiny pinprick that gave you hope, that gave you the faith and trust in yourself to keep going when you were sure you could not go on. That faith helped you to grow into the beautiful soul that you show to the world today’.

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Recapitulation Reminder

Another great post from Comtemporary Shaman.

Contemporary Shaman

600_451159830Dear Kin

Many of you ask me about recapitulation over and over again. I have posted it before so this time please copy it and keep it. It’s an essential tool to survive in this busy chaotic climate. It is a very old shamanic technique that is easy to do and you can really go deep with it in your own time.

Look and see if the outbreath or inbreath is deeper, fuller, longer when you practice. This lets you know if you are more likely to give your power away or that you absorb too much of others debri’s.

Recapitulation is akin to a mini soul retrieval and can get you through challenging time until you find a good practitioner to work with to do deeper work. You can also find it and other tools and journey tips in my workbook at my website.

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Recapitulation is going back…

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Past Lives… Memories… Deep Healing and Love is bigger that That 💙

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I did a much anticipated reading for one of my Facebook friends in Florida this morning and it was out of this world. Straight off the bat the information came thick and fast, so much past life stuff that included so many souls. I don’t consider myself a past life reader but this session may have changed that view! The connections were amazing and I got a little confused at one stage lol coz there was so much going on. I had two special young men in spirit that were in my work room, goofing around and throwing a baseball to each other, catching it in their mitts and having a great time. They were so happy to be getting their messages through to my friend, Tracey and her daughter Sam. These boys had so much love in their hearts and souls and I loved the gratitude they were directing at me for being the person to bring all of them together, even though it was for a short time, it was profound and very, very healing. One of the boys had been murdered 10 years ago and the other only lived a short time after birth, old souls…

A lot of questions were answered and the ladies were able to put many things into place and understand the complexity of situations that could not be understood on face value. I loved speaking with Sam as she is an old soul and a smart kid to boot. I didn’t realise she was in the room till about half way through the reading. I gave them very clear guidance about moving forward and suggested to do a big smudge and cleanse on themselves and the house. Tracey was crying so I knew I’d done a good job lol and at the end of the reading she thanked me about 17 times and told me that she loved me ❤️

When she told me that I got all warm and fuzzy and those words from the heart just confirmed why I do what I do. I am so blessed that I can help others in such a profound way and I am grateful every day. Big ups to my Guides and to Justin and Matthew for giving me a hand. 🙏🙏