“12 Life Impacting Symptoms Complex PTSD Survivors Endure”

A Broken Blue Sky

Complex Trauma and Complex PTSD are fairly new terms and not well understood by many professionals or by many who suffer with it. I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD, but didn’t fully understand all the ways in which it has impacted my life.

I have lived my life with the effects of severe depression and Complex PTSD without a name for my suffering, until just recently. So I locked it all up inside. I didn’t understand or know what I was experiencing or why. So I hid it. I was afraid and I didn’t want anyone to think I was crazy. It has been a very frightening experience in so many ways.

I felt shame for my internal struggle. I thought it was me! I knew there was something wrong with me, but I didn’t know why I struggled with all the internal turmoil. I often had those close to…

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Only when you have walked….

A brilliant post from the Contemporary Shaman.

Contemporary Shaman

Knowledge is power, however knowledge without experience it is just information. Growth comes from experience and the most challenging experiences can offer us the biggest soul stretch if we see it as an opportunity rather than a setback.

Its not the circumstances we get thrown that define us, its our belief about them.

Depth of character comes from diving deeper and you will not be able to really understand the depths without the experience or at least a taste of actually being there. You can read many books and hear others personal stories but until you are there, in the experience…its just a story, someone else’s story.

It is often thought via the clients themselves that the better therapists are those that have walked in the shoes similar to what their clients have. That’s not to say someone who has good skills but no experience can’t be of quality guidance…

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Messages from the Other Side. Tears of Joy & Love Never Dies…

Today I did a very emotional reading for a lovely lady, let’s call her Trish. It was a phone reading as Trish lives on the other side of the world so it’s a little different than doing a face to face reading. I started out talking about her numerology and how that was working in her life. Trish started to to cry and told me she was hoping a loved one would come through, I asked her the name of that person and as soon as I wrote it down I felt a young man step forward. Whenever I write people’s names down I instantly connect with them &/or receive information about them.

Trish’s son, Dan had passed away suddenly 18 months ago at just 25 years of age and she was still going through the difficult process of deep grief. I could feel her pain and was close to tears. Dan told me his soul knew he would not have a long life so he crammed as much as he could into the time that he had. He was part of a beautiful, loving family. He was successful at everything he did and was about to step into his dream job around the time that he passed away.

I passed on the messages to Trish and they were beautiful. I told her the roses in front of her were from Dan and that he would be letting her know he was around more and more. Dan had a lovely girlfriend when he passed away and asked me to tell Trish that he is working on finding another guy for her and will also be bringing some babies through for her. His girlfriend will be a part of Trish’s life as they have a special bond & she will play a part in the children’s lives. Trish became extremely emotional & so did I, not very professional I know but sometimes the readings I do are so powerful I can’t not cry.

To lighten the mood Dan told me to ask his Mum what was so funny about his pants. She started laughing and told me he was at a wedding not long before he passed away and was shaking his booty on the dance floor when he tore a big hole in the backside of his pants, not a small tear, a big split! He said he was having such a good time that he didn’t care about his pants & just kept on dancing!

Trish and I chatted about a few more things and all the while I was receiving such a beautiful feeling of love from Dan. Our time was up so we said our goodbyes. Trish was of grateful for the information I could pass on to her and told me that she felt so much better. I was so pleased that I could help to lighten her heart ❤️

After the reading I took the dogs for a walk down the beach and as I was walking I kept hearing ‘love, love, love’ and knew Dan was walking with me. I’m so blessed to be able to ease people’s pain and connect them with their loved ones that have passed over. It amazes me every time that even on the other side love never dies…

 

September Tarotscopes…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aries  ♈️

There are cards of great change & power for you this month Aries. A much needed change of course is happening & you would do well to go with it as pushing against won’t work, accept what is & do the best with what you have. In the process be sure to trust your feelings, especially about people that cross your path as not everyone is who they portray themselves to be. Your intuition will be heightened & you will receive divine guidance that will help you with decisions that need to be made. There will good news around money & you may find some extra coming your way, be sure to use this wisely & save some for a rainy day. The word is the month for you is Truth.

 

Taurus ♉️

September will be an interesting month Taurus, one of planning & strategy. It’s time to work out what is going to stay & what is going to go in your life. A bit of a clean up as such. I feel there will be one close relationship that you will need to work out before the end of the month. The plans you have been working on need some tweaking before you can put them into action, be sure you look at all the details as what you take into the world must be well thought out. People will help you with this & you will know who they’re are when you meet them. Don’t be afraid to push beyond your boundaries & take some calculated risks as this will open doors for you. Feel the fear & do it anyway. The word of the month for you is Release.

 

Gemini ♊️

You will find yourself making some important decisions this month Gemini & it’s important to think them through before you come to your final decision. You may have been wronged in the past & this has hurt you but take heart as the scales of karma will be balanced once again & though you may not hear of this, trust that things will be set right. The most important thing is to move forward with grace & know that you can deal with whatever crosses your path. Don’t allow the inner critic to speak too loudly & remember overthinking will not change what has happened in the past, let it go. There is someone important coming into your life that will bring you great happiness. The word of the month for you is Courage.

 

Cancer ♋️

You will find yourself dealing with some challenges this month, particularly with difficult people. There is a major life lesson that is paying out & this needs to be completed before you can move on to the next stage of your life. This will bring about great change & though it is painful, it is necessary. You have been down this road before & are now being given an opportunity to do things differently, to stand in your own truth & power & to do what is right for you. Trust yourself & take things slowly, don’t do anything rash. If you feel overwhelmed at any stage step back & reassess the situation. Look after your emotional wellbeing & remain grounded. The word of the month for you is Change.

 

Leo ♌️

Dear Leo… this month is looking good for you! This is a time a great stability for you so be sure to appreciate the foundations you have built upon & what has helped you to get to where you are today. You will be a part of a celebration, birth, engagement or wedding that will bring great joy to all concerned, it will be a coming together to remember, full of love & positive emotions. Take notice of all the beauty in your life, beauty in all its forms. This is also a time of moving forward & embracing the new things & people that come into your life. You will find yourself feeling energised & inspired so it’s a good time to make plans for the future. The word of the month for you is Happiness.

 

Virgo ♍️

You are nearing the completion of a challenging cycle Virgo so hang in there as it’s almost done. You have learned some great lessons recently & they have helped you to grow & mature, well done! Keep your eye on the prize & do not allow yourself to get caught up in negative thought patterns as this will not help at all! You have more support than you realise & a lot of that is angelic support, the angles are helping you behind the scenes. Talk to them when you are unsure or need a boost. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for & are more than capable of manifesting your dreams. It’s time to think outside the box, what is it you really want to do? The word of the month for you is Confidence.

 

Libra ♎️

The time has to come to let some things go from your life Libra. I feel one of them is a dream you have held on to that is not coming to fruition so it’s about either releasing it or changing the way you want bring it into the world. You may have to search for a deeper meaning within yourself, a way of being more authentic & who you truly are. There are inner resources you haven’t even tapped into yet that you can use. You will also meet people within the next 3 months that will help you along your path, they will be on the same vibration as you & will help you to accesss these resources as well as make you feel very grounded & confident.  The word of the month for you is Surrender.

 

Scorpio ♏️

You have done well Scorpio & the universe is acknowledging the progress you have made. The past year has pushed ypu out of your comfort zone & you have adapted well considering you’re not a fan of great change. You are now on a great journey, moving away from who you thought you were & moving into the more authentic person you are today. Believe in yourself & know that you can do what needs to be done. A time of comfort & security is just around the corner, a time where you will be with the people that matter most to you. There will be announcements within your family that will bring you great joy as well as financial stability . The word for you this month is Abundance.

 

Sagittarius ♐️

September will see you being quite introspective Sagittarius. It will be a quieter month for you as you search for your inner truth & process the events that have challenged you recently. Someone has hurt you or deceived you & it’s not ok, the best thing you can do is to try to release the hurt & to practice forgiveness toward the person. You have a deep wisdom that will help you with this so take comfort in that. Once you start this process you will realise there are other things that need to be released & once you have done this work you will feel a lot lighter. Seeking some form of healing will help you greatly, even talking it through with a good friend will help. The word for you this moth is Truth.

 

Capricorn  ♑️

There will be some decisions of the heart this month Capricorn, decisions about those closest to you. I feel there have been some family events at have been playing out for some time that have caused you mental anguish & these will be worked out this month. Some patience & understanding will be needed to work through them. Look into your heart & work with love. Things have been moving along behind the scenes in your work life & there is a feeeling of change in that area. It’s like things have become stagnant & need some fresh energy so be open to new things coming in. Think outside the box, this will serve you well. The word for you this month is Decision.

 

Aquarius ♒️

Don’t be too impetuous this month Aquarius as it will not serve you well. Think about things before you say or do them & this will help to avoid difficult situations. There is a karmic feel to events that will occur & by understanding them this it will help you to deal with them better. Look at people’s actions rather than listening to their words, this will show you who they really are. If you feel overwhelmed take some time our & do something for yourself, nurture yourself as only you can. Is it time to book a much needed holiday or just a weekend getaway? This will help you to clear your head &deal with the situation at home. The word of the month for you is Patience.

 

Pisces ♓️

Its time to simplify your life Pisces, time to put down some of your burdens & take a break. You take care of those around you so well & sometimes forget about yourself. This month it’s all about you. The universe wants you to nurture yourself & do something really special, just for you. Take a step back & look at what will make you happy, what will fill your cup. You have come so far, so far from the person you were 5, 10 years ago. You have grown & matured emotionally & the Angels want to see you giving yourself more self care. Go to to ocean or river & put your feet in the water, allow the old thoughts to slip away, you are not that person anymore. Embrace your divinity. Your word of the month is Love.

Trying To Understand Why I Struggle When Others Tell Me I Am Strong

A Broken Blue Sky

If someone has a fear of public speaking and then finds the courage to do so, that is strength

If you lose your leg and wearing a prosthesis, run a marathon, that is strength and grit

If you have a fear of flying and overcome that fear and travel anyway, that is courage and strength

If you suffer trauma that has never been validated, NEVER, and you are forced to appear outwardly okay in order to feel accepted; and if you ever did let your emotions show you got hurt further and abused more…

And when this happened so much that the facade became automatic and all the while you are dying inside, living an emotionally tortured life…

This is NOT strength, this is survival!

We would never say to someone who just lost their child or their spouse, “You look great, I am glad to see you are doing…

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August Tarotscopes…

🌕 Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Aquarius, August 7th. Release & let go 🌕

🌑 New Moon Solar Eclipse in Leo,  August 21st. Manifestion & beginnings 🌑

 

 

 

Aries ♈️

This month sees great change for you Aries & it’s about time. People & events have changed in your life & you may not have realised how much. This is a good thing as it will help you to take the steps you need to move forward. Be confident in your decisions & if you feel confused step back & look at the higher picture, there may be details that you miss if you rush in. You have a deep inner wisdom that you don’t always trust & August will bring things up to make you delve into that trust & to believe in it. After the eclipse season is over you will see & feel a rebirth in yourself & your plans. Your goals will change somewhat & this is a good thing. Wait until after the 27th to put things into motion.

 

Taurus ♉️

August is a good month for you Taurus & there is a strong feeling of release & growth happening for you. Some issues from the past that you have been carrying for a long time will be put to rest & you will feel them lighten as you release during the eclipse season. There may be one thing that you can’t quite let go of yet but that’s ok, you have done well up to this point. I suggest practicing forgiveness on the Full Moon by writing on a piece of paper what you would like to release, praying to the moon while electing go of the emotions you hold & burning the paper. By doing this you will free up space in your heart for beautiful emotions to enter it. Watch for signs on your path as they will show you the right way to go.

 

Gemini ♊️

Dear Gemini… this will be a powerful month for you as old hurts & unresolved isssues will come up for you, do not despair as this is a good thing. You are being given an opportunity to let go of a lot of old crap that you’ve been working on for a few years. Some of this will be painful but please remember the pain is temporary & once you have sorted it out that will be it. You have carried your heavy heart for too long. Be sure to observe the rituals for both the Full & New Moons as this will help you in a big way. By the end of the month you will be in a space where you will see & feel in a different way, a feeling of freedom, at last. Focus on self love & nurture & do something nice for yourself, something with meaning to mark the end of a period of great growth.

 

Cancer ♋️

Cancer you may find yourself walking away from people this month as you begin to see & acknowledge the truth of their words & actions. If this feels familiar it’s because it is & there is an important life lesson in this for you. Don’t feel bad as you have such gentle heart & people will take advantage of this. Dust yourself off & move forward, lesson learned. Don’t allow your thoughts to overwhelm you, it’s ok to acnnowledgs the thought & let it slip quietly form your mind, after all it’s only a thought. You will also be learning or polishing your skills towards the end of the month & may develop a new hobby or interest that will inspire you. If you are thinking about a new job wait until after September 5th when Mercury is no longer retrograde.

 

Leo ♌️

This month may test you my fiery friends so be sure to keep that temper in check. You would also do well to mind how you speak to others as a sudden outburst (even though it may be the truth) will prove difficult to take back & may end a partnership or friendship. I feel the 9th is an important a day for you so mark it on your calendar. After the full moon you will be inspired to try new things & to branch out into new interests. Perhaps you will start a sport or do something physical that will channel your strong energy into something good. Be sure to take good care of yourself & eat well, your diet is important now so be aware of what you are eating & drinking. Happy Birthday! 

 

Virgo ♍️

You may feel quite emotional this month Virgo, especially around the time of the Full Moon. Do you have regrets about choices you made in the past or perhaps wish things had been different? Well it’s time to let those feelings go & forgive yourself & others involved. Look at what you do have in your life rather than what you don’t have, this will help you to focus on more positive things & put a smile on your face. Send love to the people & situations from your past & look towards the future. There are good times ahead. You will appreciate the simple things & live a life of abundance that will bring joy much joy. What you have learned through your own experiences will help you to advise & guide others. All is well…

 

Libra ♎️

Trusting your intuition & awareness is important this month Librans. You will receive strong messages about people & situations so be sure to listen to the inner voice. Be aware of people that may not have your best interests at heart & may indeed try to deceive you. Be careful around money & property issues & don’t lend anyone money. There will be an important decision towards the end of the month & you will consult your partner or a good friend in this matter. I feel you will be planning a trip or thinking about going somewhere exotic in the future & now is a good time to make plans. Make your intention clear & the universe will help you to make it happen, be bold!

 

Scorpio ♏️

Money will be highlighted this month Scorpios & you may find yourself juggling things or working out ways to make ends meet. You may find yourself with a big bill or unexpected expense to pay & having to work out how to pay it. Be creative & get help if you need to & all will be well. I feel you have been making plans to start something new. You may not feel confident about it right now but don’t underestimate yourself as you have many talents that you don’t embrace or trust within yourself, these can help you greatly. If you have been thinking about learning something or returning to study this is a good time to do that as you will be focused & able to accomplish what you set out to do. Get creative!

 

Sagittarius ♐️

Take time to consider things this month Sagi’s, take a step back rather that forward &  don’t rush into things before you think about them. Being impetuous will not serve you well so calm yourself! There is a situation that has been troubling you for a while & it’s time to surrender to the truth of it & accept there is nothing you can do to change the way things are. By doing this you will free yourself of the thoughts & stress that go along with it. It doesn’t mean you agree with it, rather it’s an acceptance & release of the need to control the outcome of the situation. It will also release others involved & allow events to play out as they are meant to. There is a karmic feel around this so it’s meant to happen. Trust this is right for you.

 

Capricorn ♑️

A firm foundation & structure are important for you now Capricorns. If this has been missing in your life know that it will be restored. I feel balancing things has been quiet a challenge so far this year & you have spent a lot of time & energy helping others as well as looking at your own needs. This balance will be brought back as the Eclipse season comes to an end & after Mercury finishes the retrograde. Be patient with yourself & others as the energies of this month will affect everyone in some way. There will be an abrupt ending with something & also a lovely new beginning. You will hear some much needed good news by the end of the month that will give you the encouragement you need to achieve your goals. Don’t be discouraged & keep your eye on the prize.

 

Aquarius ♒️

You may find yourself having to stand up for yourself or those closest to you this month Aquarius. You will be the voice for those that can’t speak for themselves. You have a great inner strength & are tougher than you give yourself credit for so don’t be afraid to step up. You may have legal dealings in some way as well but know that they will have a positive result. After the full moon you will be dealing with affairs of the heart & will be looking after or helping people, your generosity of spirit will make all the difference so extend the help that is needed. You will be rewarded for your selflessness later in the year. This will come me form an unexpected source & being you great joy.

 

Pisces ♓️

Take it easy on yourself this month Pisces & allow things to unfold as they will. You don’t have to force things to happen as they are unfolding as they are meant to. Some things take longer than others to come to fruition so be patient. It’s important that you find a good balance between your deep inner world & the practical outer world. Money will be highlighted & I feel you will receive a windfall, or unexpected help that will make life easier. Be sure to do a release on the Full Moon on the 7th, this is especially important for you as you carry a heavy emotional load most of the time. Let go of your fears & know that you are safe & protected at all times. You have people around you that love you very much, allow them to support you.

Surrender. A Shift in Perception. Acceptance and Leading my Inner Child out of the Dark…

I have been through a deep inner change during the past week, one I have not experienced before. The shift came into my awareness in a subtle way but I had a strong ‘knowing’ that this is the change I had been waiting for, it’s hard to explain but I can feel the change inside of me. I have been going through an intense transformation over the past seven months since moving into this house and understand that I must release the expectations, disappointments and feelings of sadness and betrayal from my past. Through dreams, Archetypal work and teaching I have been shown what needs to go and what needs to stay, there’s a lot that needs to go! It is time to embrace acceptance, to stop pushing up against the things I cannot change. It is easy to slip into negative feelings and allow the inner critic to take over and tell me all sorts of lies but I will not allow that to happen. That voice has no power over me!

I have no choice but to surrender, there is nothing else to do, nothing. My wounded child does not like this as she has held tightly to the pain that has been her anchor for the longest time. She wants to lash out, to blame others for the way she feels and to make them hurt as she does so I must comfort her and help her to understand that it’s time for her to grow, to catch up with me and trust me enough to guide her through the rest of her journey. She has spent so much time in the dark, fearful of being found out for who she truly is, an imposter. Too afraid to show her vulnerability, to show her true self as people may not like her. People may not want to be her friend or they will just take what they need from her and leave her behind, sad and empty, again.  I must lead her into my heart and allow her to rest there and feel the love I have for her. To help her to be more resilient and most importantly, to know she is safe.

This journey of healing is an arduous one, just when I think I’m over the line something else pops up. As one part of my past is dealt with another is waiting in the wings to be picked through, processed and put to rest. It has been very intense for three years and I’m so tired, emotionally and physically. I haven’t had much respite at all but I am finally able to see my progress, my bloody brilliant progress. This has smoothed my rough edges and softened me and enabled me to be a caring and compassionate reader and teacher. I love the work that I do and understand my healing is not only for myself but also for all who come into contact with me.

This humbles my heart ❤️